noelia_g: ([ncis] abby :: rockstar)
Unfortunately ;)

But yeah, figured that this journal hadn't seen an update on the elusive thing called Real Life in a long time.

1. Work. As in, back to.

Classes are slowly starting, students coming back. I have mostly the same groups I had last year: the middle schoolers, the older kids (11-13 year olds), and my favourite group, a bunch of ladies over 60 who are just beyond awesome.

Yesterday I started with a new group, 5 and 6 year olds, and they're unbelievably fun and really, really tiring. Expect some stories when I get to know them better.

(Just one now.
Me: What's your favourite colour?
Ania: Duck.
Me: That's not a colour.
Ania: *disgruntled* Says you.)

2. School. As in, can't live without.

So, got my MA in English Lit and figured well, what do you do with an MA in English?

Apparently, try out for the MA programme in American Studies. Took the exam and got in, and now I'm back to full-time studies. How I'll manage with my job I have NO IDEA but the list of electives is awesome and I already signed up for the History of Women in the US and Canada, and for the American Approach to Warfare and other awesome stuff. Will keep you posted on that.

3. Everything else. As in, I should have some social life but I don't.

See: no time. (There's a party this Saturday, though. So there's that.)
noelia_g: ([text] valium latte)
Noelia loves her job

Kid 1: Miss, you know, when I grow up, I want to be just like you. Only, you know, normal.
Noelia: ...

Kid 2: Shiny vampires are stupid.
Noelia: YES!
Kid 2: Although, I assume, useful as a nightlight.
Kid 3: Doesn't work like that, they shine only in the sun.
Kid 2: *thinks about it* Shiny vampires are more stupid than I thought.

Kid 3: *has places to be right after class* Miss, can I make the time go faster?
Noelia: Not without a time-turner, no.
Kid 3: And what if I was a Jedi, could I make the time go faster then?
Noelia: Well, you could probably move the clock's arms with your telekinesis. Or make me think it's time to end the class with your Jedi Mind Trick. But actually speeding up time, no, I don't think so.
Kid 3: And what if there was a lot of Jedis. Could their powers accumulate and could they make the time go faster?
Noelia: Don't think so, but I can consult the wookiepedia for you.
Kid 3: Thank you, Miss. And would you like to end the class early to do so now?
Noelia: No, I would not.
Kid 3: Meh.


Noelia loves her studies

Noelia goes to have her grade from the previous exam in the History of the English Language written as her grade from this year (it's a fun thing you can do at Polish Universities if you had taken a course before that you're supposed to take now).
Prof: Oh, I think I remember you from classes. You actually looked intelligent.
Noelia: ...thank you?
Prof: But why were you attending classes if you had already have the grade from this course?
Noelia: I like classes.
Prof: Yes, I thought you looked intelligent...
Noelia: ...

Classes in translation, subtitles edition.
Noelia: *reads out her work in her composed, calm, classroom-appropriate voice. her work consists mostly of all the polish equivalents of the words you can't say on tv, because we're working on translating the swear words*
Prof B: Well done.
Noelia: *musing* You know, it feels quite liberating to say things like that in an academic setting and not only be penalised for it but lauded for the work.
Prof B: LOL.

two weeks later:
Classes in translation, dubbing edition.
Class: *working on 'Angry Kid' which has quite a few swear words on it*
Prof K: And would miss Joanna like to read it out loud? I've heard she likes to swear.
Noelia: ....srsly. That's the staff room's opinion on me, apparently.


In conclusion: lol.
noelia_g: ([st] tos :: number one :: can't hear you)
Kid 1: Do we have to do this exercise?
Noelia: Yes.
Kid 2: *conspirationally* It's okay, I've got it. Miss?
Noelia: Yes, you have to do the exercise.
Kid 2: That's okay. I just wanted to ask, in which episode of Star Trek Yoda appeared?
Noelia: WHAT?
Kid 2: Was it in the new one? The one with the different actors? I remember that small green guy, was that Yoda?
Noelia: NO. It was KEENSER. Yoda is in STAR WARS.
Kid 3: What's the difference?
Noelia: Do I have to draw you the graphs again? See, Star Wars was created by George Lucas, supposedly as a part of three trilogies, the first of which, or the second of which, premiered in 1977 with New Hope. Star Trek was created by Gene Rodenberry...
Kid 2: See, we don't have to do this exercise.
Noelia: Oh.

Kid 4: Do we really always add the 's' to the third person verb in the present simple?
Noelia: No, only on the nights of full moon in the months that have an 'r' in their name.
Kid 4: Really?
Kid 5: I think I know that one. It's that sarcasm thing.
Noelia: By George, I think she's got it. *humms The Rain in Spain Falls Mainly on the Plain*
Kids: *exchange tired looks of people who had seen Noelia dance around the classroom and are worried it's coming again*
noelia_g: ([text] teacher)
New school year has started, and I do have new students, and they are all awesome (I'll get back to you if this opinion changes, but for now, coming back to work is FUN.)

New group, all girls, last year of Junior High, preparing for the final test (srs bsns.)

N: How old are you, Miss?
Noelia: Well.
K (with whom I had classes last year): I know, I know!
Noelia: Oh?
K: But I'm clearly not telling, for I value my life.
Noelia: Well done.

A: Are we going to have tests?
Noelia: Of course not, I'm going to evaluate you on the merit of how good your hair looks.
A: Really?
Noelia: *facepalm*
K: Miss does that thing she thinks is funny when it's not.
Noelia: It's called sarcasm, you'll learn to appreciate it with time.
N: I thought we were learning English.
Noelia: I weep for future generations.


Old group, kids, but with some new students.

Noelia: A, if you don't stop interrupting me, I'm going to do something drastic.
E: Miss always says that. She never really does anything.
A: She threw a paper plane at me last year.
E: Yes, but she threatened to stab you with a pencil, I don't think it's the same thing.
Noelia: They forbid me to kill students in the first week, it's tragic.
New kids: ...
E: Miss says that a lot. She always lies.
Noelia: I lie a lot. Unless it's about English or tests. I'm dead serious about this.
E: And about people not touching her crayons without permission.

E: *surveys my drawing on the board suspiciously* Is that Batman?
Noelia: No. Not everything I do is about Batman.
E: *still looks suspicious*
Noelia: I'm also into Star Trek, very much recently.
E: *thoughtfully* There's that one that has ears like Batman.
Noelia: ... yes. He does.


I'm very proud of those kids, really. Happy to be back, too.
noelia_g: (Life: Resse&Crews: true story)
Kid #1: Miss, Miss, I saw the Star Trek movie, and I have some questions.
Noelia: Is this a ruse to get out of revising conditionals today?
Kid #1: Erm. Yes?
Noelia: Fair enough. What questions?

Noelia: Eva, could you read this paragraph?
Darek: *starts reading*
Noelia: Darek, since when is your name Eva?
Darek: Since two days ago. I haven't told my parents yet, I'm trying to prepare them for the shock.
Noelia: ... carry on.

Eva: *draws something*
Noelia: Is it relevant to our lesson?
Eva: Probably not. It's a Mountain Lemming. It says mwuhuhuhu.
Noelia: Shouldn't it be mwahahaha?
Eva: No. Mountain Lemmings have a different dialect, where the vowels are shifted.
Noelia: Oh.
noelia_g: (TBBT: Sheldon: I mock you)
1.
We're playing Taboo (a vocabulary game where you have to describe a given word without using some other words, like explain 'cinema' but not say 'movie, film, popcorn, watch').
Kid 1: Uther.
(I am actually certain he said 'other', but it did sound like 'Uther' and we had been watching Merlin with this group)
Kid 2: Queen!
Noelia: He kind of is. And a fabulous one at that.

2.
Kid 3: I bought batteries, and they gave me a free Batman tattoo. I thought you might like it, Miss.
Noelia: Oh, thank you. You don't want it?
Kid 3: Nah, I mean, I'm too old for this crap.
Noelia: ...

3.
Noelia: *writing examples of the second conditional sentences on the board* If I were you, I would do what captain Kirk says.
Kid 1: Kirk? Like in Star Wars?
Noelia: NO. LIKE IN STAR TREK. Have I taught you nothing? Han Solo is in Star Wars, Kirk is in Star Trek. Do I have to write a chart?
Kid 1: Will that be on the test?
Noelia: DON'T TEMPT ME.
Kid 4: Aren't we supposed to study English?
Noelia: Probably, but I can't have you leave this class without knowing the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek, for heaven's sake.

4.
Noelia: I need to leave the classroom for a moment. Please work on the exercise, and don't make too much noise, and I won't have to kill you.
Kid 2: *thoughtfully* I think Miss is kidding about the killing.
Noelia: No, I'm not.
Kid 2: Oh. Really?
Noelia: No.
Kid 2: Just when I think I know when Miss is joking...
Kid 5: You never can tell when Miss is joking. Her humour is different than our humour.
Noelia: It's called sarcasm, just look it up.
Kid 2: Can I please get the dictionary, Miss?
Noelia: ...
noelia_g: (Text: maturity is for loosers)
Kid #1: And then Troy knocked him up.
Noelia: He did what?
Kid #2: Knocked him up?
Noelia: I think you mean out. Knocked out.
Kid #1: There's a difference?
Noelia: *aside* Yeah, different fic warnings.

Group: *draws animals and describes them with five chosen adjectives*
Kid #3: *draws a pig*
Kid #3: *writes: superstrong. superfast. superspider*
Noelia: Erm, what?
Kid #3: This pig used to be a normal pig, but it got bitten by a radioactive spider, and now it's a Spiderpig, and it fights crime.
Noelia: *interested* Where does the web come from?
Kid #3: *cheerfully draws straight lines coming from the spiderpig's ass*

Noelia: If I don't have silence in three seconds, I will stab you in the eye with a pretty glittery pencil.
Kid #4: Really?
Kid #5: I think Miss is kidding. She doesn't have a glittery pencil.
Kid #4: Yeah, but she can still stab me with a normal pen.
Noelia: Trufax. Not as visually pleasing but not less effective.
Kid #5: I think Mrs M has a glittery pencil. I can go to her office and bring it.

Kid #6: Yeah, I used to like Dragonball, but I was young and stupid.
Noelia: You are TEN.
Kid #6: Yeah, and I was nine then.
noelia_g: (Text: this is my serious teacher icon)
I'm extremely lazy post-Easer and post-insane amount of cakes my Grandma baked, so I generally do everything to not do anything. It shows at work.
This week I:
1. Introduced the adult intermediate group to How I Met Your Mother.
2. Showed the older kids the Doctor Who special and they really loved Christina, although some confusion abounded with her and the cup, because they have all been watching Merlin (also my doing, since I'm that awesome)
3. Discussed Batman and No Man's Land with the kid who has individual lessons. I tried to stop myself from explaining that the most important thing about the series is how Batman and Gordon broke up and got back together...

Hey, at least the students were entertained, and a lot of what we were doing was actually in English.
noelia_g: (Text: this is my serious teacher icon)
You know, sometimes I realise with a certain worry that I might be quite good at my job. It's terrifying.

For those who don't know: I make my living teaching beginner and pre-intermediate English, mostly to kids and pre-teens. It's more of a job to see me through my studies, and not something permanent.

But you know, I kinda like it. And when I see things like today, when a kid threw a temper tantrum because his mother told him he won't be able to come to class next time because they're going to some family wedding... I realise the kids might like the lessons too.

And I'm not even nice to them, that much. I threaten that I'll stab them in the eye with my sparkly pen if they misbehave, for god's sake (I subsrcibe to Susan Sto Helit school of teaching, yes).

But I also draw hamster!Batman on the whiteboard, dance like an Egyptian, discuss the Harry Potter fics they write (no slash yet, but I'm patient), and show them Doctor Who.

The fact that I sometimes have a mind and interests of a twelve-years old, helps.

And you know, four years ago at the thought of teaching anyone anything I would stab myself with my sparkly pen.
noelia_g: (House: Are You Fucking Kidding Me?)
Scene: FCE prep English class.

Class: is watching How I Met Your Mother (first two eps, for the purposes of writing a review. Mostly, because it's the Long Weekend Week, and the teacher (me) is L-A-Z-Y)

Girl: "OH MY GOD DOOGIE HOWSER!"

Me: "I know, right?"

Class: ...

Girl: "I had such a crush on Doogie!"

Me: "I know!"

Class: was born in the nineties.

Me and the Girl: feel old.

Girl: "I know it was even before Beverly Hills 90210, but seriously, you don't know Doogie Howser?"

Boy: "What's a Beverly Hills 90210?"
noelia_g: (DW: Doctor/Shakespeare: academics)
crossposted from http://timeywimey.wordpress.com/

If everything goes according to plan (damn it. I probably jinxed it now…), I will be teaching three groups this semester.

So far, I have only had classes with one, the Kids. (Two other groups have college students in them, which means they will start in October, which is when the academic year starts over here)

It’s a small group, just six of them, but they are incredibly fun, and I will probably blog about them all the time.

First, there is Sarcasm Impersonated. All of the kids are around twelve years old in age, but his sarcasm, cynicism and dark wit could probably rival that of a tired forty years old. Complete with a collection of heavy metal-oriented t-shirts, flannel shirts and attitude. I don’t think he has a ’nice’ setting, but the remarks are cracking me up constantly.

Second, Hermione. Hand constantly up, and an attitude to rival that of Sarcasm Impersonated. Redhead, too, and every bit as temperamental as it says on the tin. Assigned to SI in pair-work results in buckets of fun, but also may explode.

Third, Beaver. For the amazing eagerness (not so with the Hermionesque know-it-all hand-up attitude, but with the cheerfull trying-to-do-his-best that is quite endearing).

Fourth, the Ladies’ Man. Always charming, always nice, always sitting with one of the girls. Had been declared a Soul Mate by one of the girls in the very first class. Will grow up to be quite a heartthrob, you can tell that now.

Fifth, the Hufflepuff Sisters. One twelve, one ten, but bright and on the similar language level. Big brown eyes, the both of them. Like twin Bambis. Disneyesque princess’ cheerfulness and charm. Wouldn’t be surprised if cartoon blue birds helped them get dressed up oin the mornings… Though, on the second class, during an exercise that consisted of designing a ZOO, they were both quite determined to put zombies in their ZOO.

All in all, should be fun…

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