noelia_g

Noelia loves her job

Kid 1: Miss, you know, when I grow up, I want to be just like you. Only, you know, normal.
Noelia: ...

Kid 2: Shiny vampires are stupid.
Noelia: YES!
Kid 2: Although, I assume, useful as a nightlight.
Kid 3: Doesn't work like that, they shine only in the sun.
Kid 2: *thinks about it* Shiny vampires are more stupid than I thought.

Kid 3: *has places to be right after class* Miss, can I make the time go faster?
Noelia: Not without a time-turner, no.
Kid 3: And what if I was a Jedi, could I make the time go faster then?
Noelia: Well, you could probably move the clock's arms with your telekinesis. Or make me think it's time to end the class with your Jedi Mind Trick. But actually speeding up time, no, I don't think so.
Kid 3: And what if there was a lot of Jedis. Could their powers accumulate and could they make the time go faster?
Noelia: Don't think so, but I can consult the wookiepedia for you.
Kid 3: Thank you, Miss. And would you like to end the class early to do so now?
Noelia: No, I would not.
Kid 3: Meh.


Noelia loves her studies

Noelia goes to have her grade from the previous exam in the History of the English Language written as her grade from this year (it's a fun thing you can do at Polish Universities if you had taken a course before that you're supposed to take now).
Prof: Oh, I think I remember you from classes. You actually looked intelligent.
Noelia: ...thank you?
Prof: But why were you attending classes if you had already have the grade from this course?
Noelia: I like classes.
Prof: Yes, I thought you looked intelligent...
Noelia: ...

Classes in translation, subtitles edition.
Noelia: *reads out her work in her composed, calm, classroom-appropriate voice. her work consists mostly of all the polish equivalents of the words you can't say on tv, because we're working on translating the swear words*
Prof B: Well done.
Noelia: *musing* You know, it feels quite liberating to say things like that in an academic setting and not only be penalised for it but lauded for the work.
Prof B: LOL.

two weeks later:
Classes in translation, dubbing edition.
Class: *working on 'Angry Kid' which has quite a few swear words on it*
Prof K: And would miss Joanna like to read it out loud? I've heard she likes to swear.
Noelia: ....srsly. That's the staff room's opinion on me, apparently.


In conclusion: lol.

New school year has started, and I do have new students, and they are all awesome (I'll get back to you if this opinion changes, but for now, coming back to work is FUN.)

New group, all girls, last year of Junior High, preparing for the final test (srs bsns.)

N: How old are you, Miss?
Noelia: Well.
K (with whom I had classes last year): I know, I know!
Noelia: Oh?
K: But I'm clearly not telling, for I value my life.
Noelia: Well done.

A: Are we going to have tests?
Noelia: Of course not, I'm going to evaluate you on the merit of how good your hair looks.
A: Really?
Noelia: *facepalm*
K: Miss does that thing she thinks is funny when it's not.
Noelia: It's called sarcasm, you'll learn to appreciate it with time.
N: I thought we were learning English.
Noelia: I weep for future generations.


Old group, kids, but with some new students.

Noelia: A, if you don't stop interrupting me, I'm going to do something drastic.
E: Miss always says that. She never really does anything.
A: She threw a paper plane at me last year.
E: Yes, but she threatened to stab you with a pencil, I don't think it's the same thing.
Noelia: They forbid me to kill students in the first week, it's tragic.
New kids: ...
E: Miss says that a lot. She always lies.
Noelia: I lie a lot. Unless it's about English or tests. I'm dead serious about this.
E: And about people not touching her crayons without permission.

E: *surveys my drawing on the board suspiciously* Is that Batman?
Noelia: No. Not everything I do is about Batman.
E: *still looks suspicious*
Noelia: I'm also into Star Trek, very much recently.
E: *thoughtfully* There's that one that has ears like Batman.
Noelia: ... yes. He does.


I'm very proud of those kids, really. Happy to be back, too.

1.
We're playing Taboo (a vocabulary game where you have to describe a given word without using some other words, like explain 'cinema' but not say 'movie, film, popcorn, watch').
Kid 1: Uther.
(I am actually certain he said 'other', but it did sound like 'Uther' and we had been watching Merlin with this group)
Kid 2: Queen!
Noelia: He kind of is. And a fabulous one at that.

2.
Kid 3: I bought batteries, and they gave me a free Batman tattoo. I thought you might like it, Miss.
Noelia: Oh, thank you. You don't want it?
Kid 3: Nah, I mean, I'm too old for this crap.
Noelia: ...

3.
Noelia: *writing examples of the second conditional sentences on the board* If I were you, I would do what captain Kirk says.
Kid 1: Kirk? Like in Star Wars?
Noelia: NO. LIKE IN STAR TREK. Have I taught you nothing? Han Solo is in Star Wars, Kirk is in Star Trek. Do I have to write a chart?
Kid 1: Will that be on the test?
Noelia: DON'T TEMPT ME.
Kid 4: Aren't we supposed to study English?
Noelia: Probably, but I can't have you leave this class without knowing the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek, for heaven's sake.

4.
Noelia: I need to leave the classroom for a moment. Please work on the exercise, and don't make too much noise, and I won't have to kill you.
Kid 2: *thoughtfully* I think Miss is kidding about the killing.
Noelia: No, I'm not.
Kid 2: Oh. Really?
Noelia: No.
Kid 2: Just when I think I know when Miss is joking...
Kid 5: You never can tell when Miss is joking. Her humour is different than our humour.
Noelia: It's called sarcasm, just look it up.
Kid 2: Can I please get the dictionary, Miss?
Noelia: ...

I'm extremely lazy post-Easer and post-insane amount of cakes my Grandma baked, so I generally do everything to not do anything. It shows at work.
This week I:
1. Introduced the adult intermediate group to How I Met Your Mother.
2. Showed the older kids the Doctor Who special and they really loved Christina, although some confusion abounded with her and the cup, because they have all been watching Merlin (also my doing, since I'm that awesome)
3. Discussed Batman and No Man's Land with the kid who has individual lessons. I tried to stop myself from explaining that the most important thing about the series is how Batman and Gordon broke up and got back together...

Hey, at least the students were entertained, and a lot of what we were doing was actually in English.

Scene: FCE prep English class.

Class: is watching How I Met Your Mother (first two eps, for the purposes of writing a review. Mostly, because it's the Long Weekend Week, and the teacher (me) is L-A-Z-Y)

Girl: "OH MY GOD DOOGIE HOWSER!"

Me: "I know, right?"

Class: ...

Girl: "I had such a crush on Doogie!"

Me: "I know!"

Class: was born in the nineties.

Me and the Girl: feel old.

Girl: "I know it was even before Beverly Hills 90210, but seriously, you don't know Doogie Howser?"

Boy: "What's a Beverly Hills 90210?"